💬 The Art of Asking: Why Negotiation Isn’t About Winning

Negotiations aren’t just something that happens in conference rooms or contract meetings. They happen everywhere. Every day. With our kids, our partners, our coworkers, and even at the tire shop.

For a long time, I used to associate negotiation with discomfort. That awkward silence after you ask for something different, that feeling that maybe you’re pushing too much or being “difficult.” But recently, I took a workshop that changed how I view it entirely.

The instructor said something that stuck with me:

“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Negotiations aren’t meant to be comfortable.”

That hit me. Because the truth is, negotiation is really about clarity knowing what you want, understanding what’s being offered, and having the confidence to bridge the gap even when it feels uncomfortable.

So, I decided to test what I learned in a real-world setting: buying a new set of tires, windshield wipers, and an alignment for my car. Normally, I would’ve just accepted the quote and moved on. But this time, I took a different approach.

I asked questions. I compared prices. I mentioned what I found at other locations. I even asked if they could do better on the alignment price if I bundled everything together. And you know what? They did.

But the bigger win wasn’t the discount. It was realizing that negotiation isn’t about being pushy or greedy. It’s about being intentional. It’s about valuing your own worth and not being afraid to have a conversation that might feel uncomfortable at first.

That day, I learned something important: there’s no such thing as “fair.”

Fair is subjective. Fair is a feeling, not a fact.

In business and in life, you get what you negotiate, not just in price but in opportunity, respect, and boundaries.

And I have to say, my instructor would be proud.

So the next time something feels uncomfortable to ask for, remember that discomfort might just be growth in disguise.

💭 Reflection

Maybe negotiation isn’t about “winning.” Maybe it’s about learning to show up for yourself with calm confidence and knowing your worth before you ever have to prove it.

What’s one area in your life where you’ve been accepting less than what you could negotiate for?